Summer of silence

At the moment of writing i´m sitting on the train from Abisko towards Stockholm. In Abisko i´ve attended an ice climbing course. It was my first visit to mountains since July. Everything with very mixed feelings.

About 5 months ago on a sunny warm day in Chamonix, the summer turned silent. A strange noise behind me after that the fall.

That day I lost my father.

I don´t know what to say or write. A hike on a calm day in the ´´aiguilles rouge mountains´´ on the famous ´´tour the Mont blanc´´ turned out into a loss that hard to describe. I did what I could but nothing helped. Since that day time lost its momentum . It´s indescribable how much I miss him.

I have tried to find answers, what happened, what went wrong? The thing is, I cannot find any. Is this called an accident? where something comes out of nowhere and you cannot do any about it? I guess so.

A magic moment.
Coming from two different directions we happened to meet exactly on the summit of Kebnekaise

Back on the horse:

After the accident time has stand still but slowly it is ticking and gaining momentum again. To go to the ice climbing course and stick to the plan to continue the mountainguide training for the moment is important for me, I have to try and would like to be able to get the love back for the moutains, we will see. 
I guess for many that read this piece of text it is just what is says, a text. For me it´s more than that. Writing this text on my blog means to take another step of the so many steps to give this event a place, but also to be able to open up the possibility to write on the blog again and be able to share my trips and adventures and continue to work on my profile as a becoming moutainguide. If it works, I don´t know? But I have to try, time will tell.